This is going to be a mix of my thoughts, thoughts I have been thinking for a little while. I cannot promise they will make sense but this may be the most honest post of mine yet, that I cannot promise though. Apologies if this does not make any sense but just needed somewhere to write.
For a long time now I have been thinking about the term belonging in relation to how I belong and how other people see the term belonging. I have been thinking this in relation to our church, our corps, and am struggling with belonging. Just because we have been there for our entire lives does that mean we belong? If it does why do people still feel alone and that their home church no longer feels like home? Do people presume that everybody feels like they belong because they have been there forever?
I know this probably does not make much sense, it doesn't even to me really. These are just some of the thoughts in my head that I was able to put into words.
9 comments:
Hey hunni that totally makes sense to me (maybe it's toilet talk so we're the only ones to understand...!)
and Paul has asked me loads bout do I go to church just coz i always have or coz I want to & sometimes I really don't wanna b @ romford if i felt like I totally belonged wood I ever feel like not going or do we get that feeling even wen we do belong???....???
i dunno I fink if we felt like we totally beonged we woodnt b discussing this it's just wat we do wiv the feeling of belonging... do we keep searching or accept that this is as good as it's gonna get.... (mayb I should email u coz this prob isn't amking sense to anyone else bored enuf 2 read my waffle....!)
I so get what you are saying. We obviously spend too much time together although I wouldn't change it for the world! I am sensing we may need to have a proper talk about this because I'm sensing we may be the only ones like this. See you soon. Missing you. xxx
Makes sense to me girls. You are SO not alone in this. There are times when, I would guess, everyone feels like this. I've been at Romford for ETERNITY, and I still sometimes feel that I don't belong. Now whether that has to do with how much you put into a place, or how frustrated and dis-spirited you feel about certain things, or whether it has to do with situations in your life, I don't know. In your cases, it might be that you have spent time away and the transition is always going to take time.
Unfortunately I don't have a magic wand or answer to this one. Sorry guys!! But be assured it happens to others and for some of the time, some people who you think are settled are in fact just putting on a front.
But don't ever feel we don't want you!! We do, and actually there is a huge gap when you you are not here.
I think other people can seriously influence your feelings of belonging. Like Fiona said, people put up a front, some people make themselves appear more 'significant' (if that's the right term) and that can make you feel, well, left out, I suppose.
I don't know if your thoughts stem from the weekend, you don't have to answer that (or mail me!), because if that's the case, you probably weren't the only one.
Maybe a sense of belonging comes with having friends around you. In that case, again, like Fiona said you are going through a transition process where you friends are here, there and everywhere.
Hey! What do you mean you are sensing you are the only ones? We spoke about this didn't we? I know it sounds a bit like a cliche answer, but truth be told coming back 'home' after uni is the most difficult thing. You had a place before you went - you fitted into a certain 'category'. Now, you don't. (Am I helping?!) Seriously, I know its not helpful, but you need to know that people get it, they understand and that you aren't the first.
There are some things I want to say, but maybe we will talk about them in person.
I don't know that anyone can say anything to make this better, but I think mostly you need to pray that God will show you your place. You are part of the body of Christ, and He has a place for you, a part for you to play. Maybe now needs to be a time of really waiting on him to show you what that is. (By waiting, I don't mean sitting there, twiddling your thumbs, and hoping, I mean praying and testing things out.)
Thinking of you.
xxx
Oh it's tough isn't it actually?
We are, all of us,even ME, such fragile things and we really care about what people think about us and we all really need to feel like we belong - even those that seem like they have some secret code that allows them into the upper echilons of belonging.
I wonder what belonging actually means for different people? Does it mean being swamped by everyone as you walk through the door,being invited to every party, every fellowship, every cell group, into every section? Does it mean being part of the team that seems to make all the decisions, is it about being in a team or a section at all? Is it about feeling like you make a difference, like your thoughts and feelings have value and carry 'weight'?? OR is it about feeling comfortable in a place, without any of the the above pressures or 'outward signs' of belonging?
Is it about belonging at all or is it about something else? I dunno?
XX
Me again - I now know why I don't clean the house much - big excuse coming up here - because it makes me think. I have just stopped cleaning my bathroom ( thank you)to say this....drum roll....OR is it that for you, you are now an adult,in a place where you think everyone else still sees the child?
It's not a truely profound thought, but it's a thought :)
wow Clara I presumed no one else felt like his so I've only just checked da other comments "is it that everyone still sees us as a child....!" (I realise that's not a direct quote but you get wat I mean!)
I just got in from cell group & I'm making my way thru my bag of choc covered raisins (yummy!) ....
When I go to my home corps, I'm still treated as a child and I'm 26(but then maybe I play on that a little!)
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