Back to School

That's right after six years of not going back to school this September I have been back. I have just completed my first three days as a graduate teacher in a secondary school and I have survived!

Highlights of my week:-

1. Finding out what happens on a teacher training day although the day itself was not that thrilling!!
2. Planning a lesson. Very scary but my lesson plan worked. Woo!
3. Receiving my Teacher's Planner. It was the highlight of my day and I got very excited. I am almost a proper teacher!!!

Funniest moment of the week had to be yesterday when a year seven asked me where a room was and I had no idea. Funny but embarrassing. I did manage to direct them in the end to where they needed to be for wet lunch, phew!!

All Coming Together

For a while now I have been trying to figure out what my career needs to be, what I want to do when I am a 'grown up', where I can use my skills and my education and for the past six months I have been applying for positions that would make it all come together and at last it has paid off. As of September I am going to be training as a teacher in a secondary school in Havering teaching History. I am possibly doing one of the hardest routes into teaching but at last I have a destination.

The past year since leaving university has been a struggle in many areas the main one being on the job front. I just had no idea what I wanted to do and what I should be doing. All my friends had jobs they loved whereas I was just going from one temp assignment to another and often finding myself out of work for a few weeks but now I'm sorted. I can say I have a career, I am nearly a 'grown up' and this entire idea scares me a lot but I am now a firm believer that prayer before interviews really does pay off.

Obsession

Ok so it has been over a month since I last blogged but was struggling with what to say and this morning it came to me. People who plan weddings are obsessed!! OK so I am planning a wedding but even my crazy planning is not as crazy as these people.

I have joined a forum on one of the websites of a popular wedding magazine for the date I am getting married and there have been tips shared and interest and information being swapped about and then today it went to a whole new level. I received an email saying more posts had been posted on this forum so I log in and have a read and I have discovered true Bridezillas!! People have their own websites for getting married. Now I know I am a crazy planner and have two books and have a countdown on facebook etc but to create my own website about the day surely that is taking things one step too far?

I just needed to blog this as I can't believe it is now the fashion to do this. What is the world coming too!!!

Love!!

OK this may be a slushy post so apologies if it is but felt I needed to say this. Tonight I am sitting at home on my own, my mum is away on holiday so I am spending the week alone in my house. I have just said goodbye to my fiance(!!!!!!) as he goes back to uni and although I spent the weekend with him and will see him again on Friday I sobbed all the way home and then when I opened the door sobbed again and then when washing my hair sobbed again. Now normally I am not this bad. True I hate saying goodbye to him but normally I know I am going to see him in a matter of days and there are no tears. So why has it affected me so badly this time? Is it because this is the first time we will be apart since getting engaged? Is it because we have just spent four weeks together? Is it because I cannot plan any more of the wedding until I see him? Or is it simply because I hate being on my own and am hating the idea of not having company for the week that it has forced me to realise how much I love him, I like being with him, how involved he is in my life and how much I just want to be with him everyday?

Apologies again for the slushiness but it just crossed my mind why do we or should I say I never appreciate the people in my life until I am on my own and lonely?

Going to be a Mrs

OK so this post is just another outlet of my excitement that I AM ENGAGED!!!! After four and a half years I was proposed to and am now the proud and excited owner of a very beautiful, very sparkly ring!!

I appreciate many of those who read my blog already know this news but it also gives me a chance to say to my little sis I am missing you being with us as much as you are missing being with us and it's only 3 weekends!! Also to my girls 2 weekends till the giggles and screams begin.

I love you all but to those inparticular you are always in my thoughts and I can't wait to share this moment with you.

Changing Tracks

At work I am often in the office on my own as my boss is attending many meetings in various parts of the south east of England and so I often listen to Radio 1. I have become addicted to the Chris Moyles show and find him absolutely hilarious and often laugh and sing along in my car and the office. Anyway after the Chris Moyles show comes Jo Whiley. At first I wasn't sure whether I like this show or not and then I discovered a feature she does every day.

Every day after 11 o'clock she does the feature Changing Tracks. This is her relating peoples stories of how their live have changed with a song. This is a very emotional feature. People write in telling all sorts of problems. Everything from eating disorders, to cheating on a partner, to moving away from friends. Whilst listening to this feature it got me thinking. Would I feel comfortable having my problems broadcast on national radio with a life changing song? What makes these people do it? Also what would my life changing song be? As a Christian should my life changing song be a Christian one about the grace of God?

Just some thoughts that go through my mind at about 11.10 when I listen to the radio.

Uncertainty and Confirmation

At the moment I feel very much in an uncertain place. I am waiting for lots of things to happen in my life and I am being forced to consider big questions on my future in all aspects of my life. Then on Sunday this was the closing song in Southampton's meeting and it took all my restraint not to jump up and down in affirmation because it doesn't matter what is going on in my head as

I'm in His hands,
I'm in His hands,

Whate'er the future holds,

I'm in His hands,

The days I cannot see

Have all been planned for me;

His way is best, you see;

I'm in His hands.