3 and a 1/2 Weeks to go

OK so those that read this and are teachers will probably know instantly what I am talking about, it is three and a half weeks until half term wahoo!! I am looking forward to it immensely, a week of lie ins and not needing to go anywhere and work, I get to see my sister for a couple of days and hopefully visit some uni friends but there is a downside, I leave my B placement and go back to A school.

Let me explain. As part of my training on the job type thing I am doing to become a teacher, I work in a school and actually teach real children, then for six weeks or half a term I get uprooted from where I have settled and get thrown in to a whole new school but only for six weeks. This is where I currently am at the moment. I have gone from one extreme to the other and this has caused many various emotions. Although my two schools are completely different I am loving them both although in different ways, (there have definitely been less tears in B school than A!) and so although it is only three and a half weeks until half term and all the fun that brings (I will be working as well but it is clearly much more fun working in your pjs watching day time telly!) I will have also left a school that has challenged me as a teacher and has encouraged me and made me grow. Do I really want to leave? That is the question, I do not know the answer but the fact of the matter is I have to and all those emotions will begin as we now cross the halfway barrier in this half term.

You Know You Have Worked Too Much When....

OK so last night I did some work. Not unusual for the amount of stuff I have to do but in particular last night I was just going over my planning for a year 9 lesson I have this afternoon. I had taken home the video I wanted to show them so I was completely clear on what they would get out of it. Now at the moment I am looking at the Battle of the Somme and in particular Field Marshal Douglas Haig (see picture below!)

The disturbing thing about this though is that when my alarm went off at 6.45 this morning, 91/2 hours after I had finished the video and sorting out my lesson, I found myself thinking, well if I pause the video here they will be able to note this point and if I continue until this bit etc etc.

So, you know you have worked too much when..you wake up thinking of a man who is responsible for killing thousands of people and who has a ridiculous moustache!

8 facts which may or may not be interesting!

OK so I have been tagged in this more than once so really should do it.

1) I am typing this from a chool computer, I cannot access my personal emails or facebook but blogging I can do!

2) I have never broken a bone in my body so far although have dislocated my right knee twice so far.

3) I have been in ambulance twice (see above reason!)

4) I am afraid of mice and human bones

5) I hate being on my own, I need company, conversation and noise

6) I went to university and in my three years there never went to a purple Wednesday (big event at student union)

7) I am the oldest child in my family and the oldest grandchild on one side of my family

8) I would choose savoury food over sweet food every time!

I now tag Becca, Sarah and Kirst

Back to School

That's right after six years of not going back to school this September I have been back. I have just completed my first three days as a graduate teacher in a secondary school and I have survived!

Highlights of my week:-

1. Finding out what happens on a teacher training day although the day itself was not that thrilling!!
2. Planning a lesson. Very scary but my lesson plan worked. Woo!
3. Receiving my Teacher's Planner. It was the highlight of my day and I got very excited. I am almost a proper teacher!!!

Funniest moment of the week had to be yesterday when a year seven asked me where a room was and I had no idea. Funny but embarrassing. I did manage to direct them in the end to where they needed to be for wet lunch, phew!!

All Coming Together

For a while now I have been trying to figure out what my career needs to be, what I want to do when I am a 'grown up', where I can use my skills and my education and for the past six months I have been applying for positions that would make it all come together and at last it has paid off. As of September I am going to be training as a teacher in a secondary school in Havering teaching History. I am possibly doing one of the hardest routes into teaching but at last I have a destination.

The past year since leaving university has been a struggle in many areas the main one being on the job front. I just had no idea what I wanted to do and what I should be doing. All my friends had jobs they loved whereas I was just going from one temp assignment to another and often finding myself out of work for a few weeks but now I'm sorted. I can say I have a career, I am nearly a 'grown up' and this entire idea scares me a lot but I am now a firm believer that prayer before interviews really does pay off.

Obsession

Ok so it has been over a month since I last blogged but was struggling with what to say and this morning it came to me. People who plan weddings are obsessed!! OK so I am planning a wedding but even my crazy planning is not as crazy as these people.

I have joined a forum on one of the websites of a popular wedding magazine for the date I am getting married and there have been tips shared and interest and information being swapped about and then today it went to a whole new level. I received an email saying more posts had been posted on this forum so I log in and have a read and I have discovered true Bridezillas!! People have their own websites for getting married. Now I know I am a crazy planner and have two books and have a countdown on facebook etc but to create my own website about the day surely that is taking things one step too far?

I just needed to blog this as I can't believe it is now the fashion to do this. What is the world coming too!!!

Love!!

OK this may be a slushy post so apologies if it is but felt I needed to say this. Tonight I am sitting at home on my own, my mum is away on holiday so I am spending the week alone in my house. I have just said goodbye to my fiance(!!!!!!) as he goes back to uni and although I spent the weekend with him and will see him again on Friday I sobbed all the way home and then when I opened the door sobbed again and then when washing my hair sobbed again. Now normally I am not this bad. True I hate saying goodbye to him but normally I know I am going to see him in a matter of days and there are no tears. So why has it affected me so badly this time? Is it because this is the first time we will be apart since getting engaged? Is it because we have just spent four weeks together? Is it because I cannot plan any more of the wedding until I see him? Or is it simply because I hate being on my own and am hating the idea of not having company for the week that it has forced me to realise how much I love him, I like being with him, how involved he is in my life and how much I just want to be with him everyday?

Apologies again for the slushiness but it just crossed my mind why do we or should I say I never appreciate the people in my life until I am on my own and lonely?

Going to be a Mrs

OK so this post is just another outlet of my excitement that I AM ENGAGED!!!! After four and a half years I was proposed to and am now the proud and excited owner of a very beautiful, very sparkly ring!!

I appreciate many of those who read my blog already know this news but it also gives me a chance to say to my little sis I am missing you being with us as much as you are missing being with us and it's only 3 weekends!! Also to my girls 2 weekends till the giggles and screams begin.

I love you all but to those inparticular you are always in my thoughts and I can't wait to share this moment with you.

Changing Tracks

At work I am often in the office on my own as my boss is attending many meetings in various parts of the south east of England and so I often listen to Radio 1. I have become addicted to the Chris Moyles show and find him absolutely hilarious and often laugh and sing along in my car and the office. Anyway after the Chris Moyles show comes Jo Whiley. At first I wasn't sure whether I like this show or not and then I discovered a feature she does every day.

Every day after 11 o'clock she does the feature Changing Tracks. This is her relating peoples stories of how their live have changed with a song. This is a very emotional feature. People write in telling all sorts of problems. Everything from eating disorders, to cheating on a partner, to moving away from friends. Whilst listening to this feature it got me thinking. Would I feel comfortable having my problems broadcast on national radio with a life changing song? What makes these people do it? Also what would my life changing song be? As a Christian should my life changing song be a Christian one about the grace of God?

Just some thoughts that go through my mind at about 11.10 when I listen to the radio.

Uncertainty and Confirmation

At the moment I feel very much in an uncertain place. I am waiting for lots of things to happen in my life and I am being forced to consider big questions on my future in all aspects of my life. Then on Sunday this was the closing song in Southampton's meeting and it took all my restraint not to jump up and down in affirmation because it doesn't matter what is going on in my head as

I'm in His hands,
I'm in His hands,

Whate'er the future holds,

I'm in His hands,

The days I cannot see

Have all been planned for me;

His way is best, you see;

I'm in His hands.

Still alive!!

This weekend I did something I had never ever done before. I cooked. Cooked from scratch a main course and a pudding. What is even more impressive is I am still alive and so too is the person I cooked it for!!

Reason for cooking? Well my boyfirend and I do not really get to spend all that much time together when we are both home and so my mum was out and I thought it would be nice if we did something different and took advantage of the space and spend some quality time together. I suggested cooking and my boyfriend got quite excited by the idea of being grown ups so then I had to do it!! I looked in recipe books borrowed from a friend and surfed the internet until I found a simple recipe that would look like it was complicated!! On saturday afternoon I began the task of cooking and by Saturday evening we had a barbecued chicken with fried rice and chocolate swirl cheesecake. All made from scratch and it even tasted quite nice!

Point of this blog? Well I am alive and so is he. I can now say I can cook without poisoning anybody!!

New Year, New Me?!

OK so it has been a while since I have blogged, this is mainly due to the fact I have not had anything to say, until today that is. Whilst at work bored I suddenly thought of something I could share with you all, I cannot promise it will be interesting but at least it's something!

I have decided this year I need to lose weight. I am not the only one in this I am sure but it has occurred to me recently that in the past four years of my relationship I have expanded and now is the time to stop. I am not however going to diet. Oh no. I do not believe in dieting, it just makes you hungrier, plus for it not to make you hungry you have to spend a lot of money a month to join the consumer diet world. This is money that I will be needing to spend on something else but that will be a blog for later in the year. So as I am not going to diet how exactly am I going to lose weight. A question I am sure you are eagerly awaiting the answer for!! I am going to exercise. Yes that is right little sis I am going to exercise. I do currently belong to a gym however have been once in the entire month of December. To not go is throwing money away and so that is why in this New Year I am going to make the most of my gym membership.

The question is though can you lose weight just by exercising? Can I go back to the size and figure I had four years ago? Can I be less than that?

The answer I am hoping is yes as I have lots of important engagements coming up this year, from friends 21st's to graduation balls and ceremonies (not mine but I still get to go!) to a friends wedding, and these are just the ones that I know of.

So please keep your fingers crossed that this is achievable and if you have any advice or tips they would be greatly appreciated.

Decisions, Decisions

Now I am working in the big wide world I have realised I need to start drinking grown up drinks, yes tea and coffee. There is one slight problem with that I do not like tea or coffee plus I have a bit of a thing with drinking hot drinks which I will not go into here as we could be here all day. However I have discovered I do quite like a hot chocolate. This is good especially in the winter as it will warm me up however one problem is the amount of calories in a hot chocolate. I have therefore limited myself to one hot chocolate a week, not only for the calories but it is cheaper too! Here is my dilemma though. From Oxford Circus station on the way to my office I pass a Costa, a Starbucks and a Pret all of which sell hot chocolate. The decision is therefore which is the best one to have?

The Temptation is Large!!!

As some of you who know me will know I have a new job which I am liking at the moment, fingers crossed it will remain that way, but with this job comes one of the biggest temptations.

My office is in Soho, when I say Soho I mean 5 minutes from Oxford Street and 3 minutes from Carnaby Street. This is the great temptation. Not going shopping and spending all my hard earned money in my lunch hour! You will not believe how hard it is not to go shopping when all the big shops are just a stones throw away.

Until today I had avoided stepping foot onto Oxford Street apart from when I go to the station on the way home but today I went, and I am pleased to say did not buy anything except lunch although it was really hard!

Southern Youth Councils

On Friday I helped drive members of Southampton Shirley youth to their youth councils evening in Poole. I was quite interested to go after experiencing youth councils in the LNE division for so many years and I am pleased I went. The theme was Transformers and although the evening was certainly different to the way 'we' do youth councils those that were there had a good time. There was one bit in particular that really hit me. After the sermon bit the worship band led the us in a song called God of Justice. This song had been taught to them at summer school but on Friday evening they used it in the response time. The response was to stand on a particular line of song that you will do. This may not make much sense if you do not know the words to the song so I will put them in now.


God of Justice, Saviour to all

Came to rescue the weak and the poor

Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us

Freely we've received

Now freely we will give

We must go, live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go,

Stepping forward keep us from just singing

Move us into action

We must go

To act justly everyday

Loving mercy in everyway

Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require

Freely we've received

Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out Lord

I was truly amazed to see youth responding to this. Youth were getting up and saying yeah lets make a stand, I want to do this, this is what needs to be done. It was a special moment for me. I didn't know all the youth unlike here at home but was so proud I guess of the way they responded.

Whilst we were singing this the line that struck me the most was 'We must go, Stepping forward keep us from just singing, move us into action'. In the Salvation Army and in some ways Church in general we are known for singing lots of hymns and for many that's all we do, meet on one day a week and sing but I believe it is time we did this and we made this line our prayer and truly meant it, please Lord move us into action, keep us from just singing.

Belonging

This is going to be a mix of my thoughts, thoughts I have been thinking for a little while. I cannot promise they will make sense but this may be the most honest post of mine yet, that I cannot promise though. Apologies if this does not make any sense but just needed somewhere to write.

For a long time now I have been thinking about the term belonging in relation to how I belong and how other people see the term belonging. I have been thinking this in relation to our church, our corps, and am struggling with belonging. Just because we have been there for our entire lives does that mean we belong? If it does why do people still feel alone and that their home church no longer feels like home? Do people presume that everybody feels like they belong because they have been there forever?

I know this probably does not make much sense, it doesn't even to me really. These are just some of the thoughts in my head that I was able to put into words.

Why....

OK this may sound like it is possibly going to be a big deep philosophical or theological blog but it isn't I'm afraid as I am not that type of person. The real subject of this blog is dogs and houses.

As part of September those of us in the Salvation Army are encouraged to do door to door collecting as part of the Annual Appeal. As my mum is a minister now guess who has to help her out with this (to be fair there are only about 3 people under the age of 65!!). I do not mind the idea of it at all, my biggest problem is I am scared of dogs, and I mean scared, I cross over the road, that kind of thing. So anyway we went out last Saturday knocking on doors and I like nearly got killed like three times (FYI I am a slight drama queen!!). People opened their doors fully and out come bounding dogs. Now surely if you have a dog, who barks at visitors and is excitable, you do not open the door to its full width or am I missing some huge point? The funny thing is that once I screamed in pure terror when two big dogs came bounding at me from the same house the woman said, 'They won't hurt you', good I'm pleased but how can you categorically know that.

So the question and the point of my little rant is why do people who have dogs and other excitable animals open the door really wide and not take into account the fact the person at the door may be slightly scared of them?

It's Been 4 Days and....

I am exhausted. Seriously how all you people work all the time i have no idea, I'm shattered and I only started on Monday!!! In fairness though I was in York until Wednesday doing some seriously intensive training (yes that did involve sampling a lot, and I mean a lot of chocolate, and yes I will be going to the gym on Sunday), driving all the way back from York in my new company car (red Vauxall Vectra, if anybody is interested), it was really scary, and then today driving all the way to Gatwick and to other places shadowing a fellow BDE (that is what I am). I am now exhausted and want to have a month off at Christmas like normal, instead I have to make do with only a week ( I am fully aware this is more than some people get, sorry!!).

I will just make one comment, next time you walk into one of the big supermarkets, the co-op or woolworths and you see a big Nestle display, please think of us who are trying our best to get them in the shop and perhaps buy something from it!!!!!!!!!!

Guess What....

I have a job, I have a job, wahoo. After nearly three months of constantly applying and going for interviews, finally someone has decided they want to employ me, wahoo. This is who I will be working for...

That's right I'm working for the chocolate people. How exciting. It's surely like everybody's dream to work for a company who makes chocolate and I am actually going to. That was all I have to say, I HAVE A JOB!!

Summer School and Boxes

Just a quick blog whilst I have access to the internet.

Summer school was amazing for many people. For me as an oldie it was interesting but I just want to take this opportunity to say I have never been so proud of our youth as I was that week. The way they were praying and stuff with each other was a truly amazing site and I would ask you please to keep remembering all of us that went. It was a very challenging week, life changing for many and coming back can be such an anti climax so prayer would greatly be appreciated.

Boxes, it has been exactly one week since I moved house and I never want to see another box again. All my boxes are unpacked, Sarah's are still mostly full and those that aren't she has most probably tried to climb into (for many that will not surprise you!!). The move did go well though and for the most part we are settled although builders are still coming round nice and early every morning, oh the joy!!